No Great Mischief 2.0

10 Cent Survival Knife

2008-09-06T19:05:00.001-05:00

Now this is just plain cool. I gotta make me a couple of these...

And while you're at it, check out the main site. Some good information here.

TZ

RIP Arthur C. Clark

2008-03-18T18:54:00.002-06:00

Arthur C. Clark passed today. This is a great loss for humanity.
Sad sad, I.

RIP

2008-03-15T14:36:00.001-06:00

Gary Gygax died. Sad sad sad. Like losing an old friend.
Gonna miss ya, Gary.

Diary of the Dead

2008-03-15T14:30:00.003-06:00

Okay, folks. YOU HAVE TO GO SEE THIS MOVIE! It's f*cking brilliant.

Mr. Romero has come into his own with this movie - it's by far the greatest work he's done, in my opinion.

Definitely worth the wait!

TZ Beyond the Diary of the Dead

2008-02-16T07:38:00.005-06:00

Y'know what? I'm just gonna voice my discontent this morning. We've been lookin' forward to seein' George A. Romero's Diary of the Dead since it was first announced. And ya know what?

LIMITED RELEASE!!!

It ain't showin' here. We'd have to drive to Dallas or Houston to see it. Cripes! Three to six hours! Phooey!

Well, maybe it'll make some $$$ and get a wider release at some point in the future. I'd like to see it on the big screen before watching it on my little screen here in the tomb.

And ya never know, I might just have to pack the horde into the truck and scoot on over to Houston and see this flick!

Redbox Hack

2008-02-06T18:27:00.000-06:00

If you're a roleplaying gamer, and especially if you cut your teeth and killed your first orcs on one of the old TSR Dungeons & Dragons boxed sets, you HAVE to check out this game.

Redbox Hack is without a doubt one of the best little homebrew games around. We've had a lot of fun here in the tomb using it to replay ancient and battered D&D modules from the Dark Ages.

And by the way, if you lost or sold your copy of Palace of the Silver Princess, you can get a copy of the original item from Wizards of the Coast. Way to go, dudes!

And just so I don't lose my train of thought again...

If it hadn't been for D&D, I wouldn't have discovered Gamma World. And if it hadn't been for Gamma World I wouldn't have discovered Traveller and Twilight: 2000. And if it hadn't been for Twilight: 2000, I wouldn't have been nearly as interested in learning how to forage, scavenge, or otherwise live off the land.

So, there ya go.

Oh, and didya see Cloverfield? Cool monster. Lame story. But cool monster. And cool monsters are just...cool...

Seabed's Nectar Made Fresh For You!

2007-09-30T09:45:00.001-05:00

So here's this new possible viral Cloverfield/1-18-08 website: Tagruato.

Tagruato is supposedly a Japanese company that does everything from deep sea drilling (including a site on the mid-Atlantic ridge opening in September 2007) to Slusho to microbiology.

Couldn't help but notice the only non-Cloverfield reference to Tagruato (which doesn't seem to be a Japanese word by the way) is on menuism.com.

Check it out.
"...It contained the finest ingredients money can buy, from fresh bay leaves imported by a company called Fotopoulos Herb Gardens in Crete, to something the Japanese call “kaitei no mitsu”, or “Seabed’s Nectar”, shipped in dry ice by a company out of Honshu called Tagruato..."

On the unfiction.com forums there's a reference to the new 1-18-08.com picture that references "Sea Bottoms Bee Nectar" as a possible translation of one phrase.

So, may or may not be legit. Probably is. Not sure about Menuism. Kinda gutsy to post a viral ad on someone's website...unless it is your own... ;)

TZ

PS - Anagram for Seabed's Nectar = Beast Reascend.

Cloverwhale

2007-09-15T05:42:00.000-05:00

Okay, so it's not official, but this is way cool.

Check it out. Cloverwhale.

"Dead Sea" by Brian Keene

2007-09-13T05:15:00.000-05:00

Anyway. Yeah, another Keene zombie novel. "Dead Sea" isn't related to "The Rising" and "City of the Dead" except in a vague sort of manner. There are some scenes that seem to overlap between the Rising series and "Dead Sea".This is because Keene is building a sort of mythology. There are some details in his novel "Ghoul" and more information on his website about the Keene-iverse."Dead Sea" is okay. Parts of it are quite good, much of it seems rather uninspired. The prose is uneven, with some being a pleasure to read and other sections being less so.I'd rate it 3.5 on a scale of 1-5. Its a good short summer read if you're looking for a way to kill a few hours. On the plus side, some of the scenes are absolutely cool. On the down side, some of the scenes are mind-numbingly boring.Might want to check it out.

We're DOOMED!!!

2007-09-05T08:15:00.000-05:00

Repent, quadruped! The end is nigh!

Hexapodia is the key insight!

Gloating and Derision

2007-08-30T19:33:00.000-05:00

First, the Gloating:
Post K-T boundary dinosaur remains: It's also in this month's Discover magazine.

Now the Derision: HAH! The dogmatic scientific orthodoxy may have been wrong! HAH! F*ck you, Guardians of Scientific Orthodoxy.

*ahem*
Well, that felt good.

I won't sit here and whine about why I feel so strongly about it. If you're that concerned, I'll tell you. Otherwise, just know that it feels good to see new ideas being discussed instead of dismissed out of hand.

Did some dinosaurs make it thorugh the extinction event at the end of the Cretaceous and survive into the Paleocene? I have no idea. The important part is that it is being discussed. Science is about discussion.

Clovercheese and Giant Lice

2007-08-25T09:50:00.000-05:00

So now we have a new poster (probably fake - looks like a photoedited copy of a 1964 Godzilla suit) and a monster roar on 1-18-08.com after six* minutes. The roar is cool. Way cool. Still synthetic (i.e. not derived from animal sounds or combinations/variations thereof).

*Slusho! You can't drink just six! (which as we all know could be an anagram of "A toxic industry's junk."). But which toxic industry? Bulk chemical manufacturing or the movie industry? :)

So, to sum up my summations so far:
1. Lots of faked posters.
2. Roar is synthetic.
3. You can prove anything with an angram, facetious or not. In my case, facetiously for the most part.
4. Not Voltron, Cthulhu, or Godzilla.**

**However, this notion going around of little critters jumpin' off the big critters to eat everything/everyone in New York...

Remember Godzilla: 1985? Or, rather, the Return of Godzilla if you're a G-Fan*** purist. The shokilas where those giant mutant sea lice that were eatin' folks on the ship Big G attacks early in the film.

***G-Fan rocks. Go buy a bunch of copies.

My point, however, is that this particular rumor isn't original in the sense that it could easily be a based on the 1984/1985 Godzilla film. I mean, how many folks that like monster movies remember when that movie came out? Other than me? :)

INVASION!!!

2007-08-24T23:59:00.000-05:00

So with all the rain and heat and tropical conditions, the Age of Reptiles is upon us once again.

We've been invaded by geckos. Dozens of the cute lil' buggers.
Mediterranean geckos, it appears. Which is weird when you live in Texas. Well, weirdER anyway.

But it's cool. They're (currently) VERY tiny and haven't tried to kill us yet. I'm guessing some momma gecko laid a clutch of eggs out back or out front under the edge of the siding and now her brood has hatched.

Now if I can just convince the cats to stop playing with them...

IMTU - In My Traveller Universe

2007-08-19T10:54:00.001-05:00

IMTU - In My Traveller Universe...

So I started dusting off notes from my old Traveller games and posted some of them over at Citizens of the Imperium. Then I thought, well, since I'm running out of room on my current web pages, I could just dump 'em in Blogland and let 'em go from there. No copyright infringement is intended, all links are used without permission, and if it isn't your stuff it's my stuff and is copyrighted.

So, my Traveller RPG universe isn't quite canon.

Here are some examples:

1. Freely swipe ideas from CT, MT, TNE, T4, and GT . Use of both canon and non-canon sources out of chronological order and in the wrong context.

2. AI, nanotechnology, genetic engineering, and transhumanism in high TL societies.

3. Droyne expansionism under an unknown leader coordinating activities across multiple sectors. While many Droyne are childlike and gentle, many more are violent, ruthless, and governed by strange emotions.

4. The 3I is officially run by the Emperor and Nobles in a sort of techno-feudal system, but the megacorps and other political and economical entities play an equally powerful role (sort of like the Dune Navigators telling Shaddam IV where to get off).

5. Other worlds and other critters. Psionic Shanthas of Jorune. Rumors of a strange planet called Tekumel far beyond the fringes of known space.

6. "Little Empires" that don't use Jump Drive and blast through space in their relativistic fusion rockets.

7. Pirates aren't terribly common, but are commonly terrible when they turn up, but smugglers abound and running Imperial blockades is a good career choice for many people.

8. The Solomani Rim War didn't go so badly for the Solomani, so they're still a distinct and very real threat to the 3I (Solomani on one side, Droyne/Zhodani on the other, and the K'Kree probing for weakness on the part of either the Solomani Confederation or the 3I).

9. Genetic engineering and nanotechnology (more of a bio-nanotech) - starting at TL 12, a player could opt for a "rebuild" and have stats lifted to at least half of the TL from which the treatment is obtained. From TL12 or so up, people don't get sick, don't scar, and generally live a heckuva long time. If someone wants to spend a bazillion credits, they can basically get whatever stats they want if they can get treatments at a sufficiently high tech level.

10. Nanotech can only work in controlled environments (handwave) because of Brownian Motion, the Uncertainty Principal and Arvaangulesh's Theorem. People that have it accept it as a given, kind of like nuclear power - it can do cool things for you, but its done in a big ominous building with lots of guards and safety protocols.

11. Medical technology quickly gets to the point at the higher TLs where you can basically survive anything IF you get treated in time. On backwater or low TL worlds, though, you're still out of luck. Sure, they can probably grow you a new leg in Glisten System, but you have to survive the fight and get there first.

12. Distribution of TL and Wealth - the Nobles IMTU own everything. The way they maintain their position is controlling wealth and technology and distributing/allowing it for their vassals depending on whim, favor, service, potential threat, etc. So, a bunch of scruffy Free Traders are less likely to be tolerated with a Regina-Biobuild Enhancement than would be a Noble Lady of Mora.

13. So there's this huge black market in stolen high TL goodies. People will pay a lot to live 500 years or more. People who want to stay in control will do a lot to make sure they don't have competition. Big risk in "tech running" to lower TL worlds, but a big payoff if it works.

14. But even if you get some TL 15 goodies to a TL 8 world, they don't always work (hand wave) forever. There's no infrastructure to maintain them. Some are designed to routinely self-destruct and stop operating if they're moved or if the light is the wrong wavelength. Most are just incomprehensible and no one knows how to recharge/reload.

15. No limits on how high a stat can get. Its fun to see someone role up an Aslan Munchkin Warrior only to end up with a Soc (or whatever the equivalent stat is) of 24 and therefore own most of a planet somewhere back home. Abdication isn't always healthy when the rest of the clan thinks you're either 1) dishonorable or 2) may come back and disrupt their plans to take over and redistribute the wealth. And a Hiver "psychologist" with Manipulation 18 is just a hoot to watch.

16. Jump-capable ships are usually smarter than their crews. A TL12+ ship is an NPC that can communicate through nanoengineered wireless systems with crew. Library data is transmitted directly to the crew or owner (or passengers if they have the right receivers and authorizations).

17. Chargen (that's Character Generation to the uninitiated out there) - one to three skill rolls per year, even with Basic CT. Starting the game with only Air/Raft - 1 and Cr100 kinda stinks. And your character can't die during Chargen.

18. Back to computers - AI is everywhere. High TL citizens have their own internal/intercranial Fire Walls.

19. Planetary systems can be crowded - the UPP is only for the primary or capital planet/object. A TL15 system can have trillions of inhabitants scattered from the star out to its Kuiper Belt.

13. STL (slower-than-light) space travellers are always popping up, many of whom are thousands of years behind the times due to relativistic time distortion.

14. Smart Weapons really are smart. Some work with the ship or grav carrier to make themselves smarter. You can snipe from orbit with a sufficiently advanced rifle.

ROBOTICS IMTU

1. People want machines that do what they're told, not machines that know, or think they know, what you want. Good example: Windows XP routinely thinks it knows what I want. Windows Vista is worse. I miss Windows 3.0, because it did what it was told. Simulated intelligence is bad enough!

2. AI at any TL is expense in terms of space and programming. Circuitry is big, and big is costly. And fragile. And prone to errors.

Depending on TL, robots are common, but not always in the Star Wars sense. Once you get to TL 7 or 8 or thereabouts (maybe earlier in some cases) you'll have industrial robots used in construction. TL 8 - 9 household and other "service" bots. Progressively higher TLs have progressively more robots in terms of number and ability unless there's some cultural bias for or against bots.

The vast vast majority of bots are high tech toys that do things sapients could do whether or not they themselves are sapient. Think of a "Furby" that can take clean your house or take care of your lawn. Most of these aren't intelligent - they just seem that way.

IMTU most vehicles, including starships, have some kind of autopilot function from TL 9 to A and up. Bigger is better, so many starships are fully intelligent beings in their own right, though mostly hampered by programming that forces (?) or limits their view of the universe to make them coworkers rather than rulers. The reason for this is that starships have to be big, and are already expensive, so adding the cost of a dispersed brain that makes up large sections of interior bulkheads is cost efficient. At the least it'll get you home. At the best it's a tour guide, chauffeur, and another member of the party.

My excuse for not having legions of robot soldiers - they're too expensive to shield from electromagnetic pulse and hack attacks. Plus MTU Imperium is very warlike (a feudal technocracy with the Megacorps and Nobles holding power distributed by the Emperor - think "Dune") and to deny any human the right to struggle for glory and honor is unthinkable philosophically. And it's cheaper financially. AI Warbots would be tank sized and vulnerable to electronic lobotomies. A barbarian trained to wear and equipped with a Combat Environment Suit is a lot cheaper.

J-Brains (Jupiter Brains), stellar brains, etc. - I just don't worry about them. No one needs that kind of processing power except the surviving Ancients, and they're not talking. When such minds have arisen, the plug has been pulled.

So, basically, robots are everywhere, but mostly in supporting roles due to expense and size.

Expense - think of it from the point of view of some guy from the Bronze Age while their horses are trying to pull a giant monolith. "Stop! You're killing the horses! Use slaves instead! They're cheaper!" And easier to brainwash IMTU.

And on a side note, the vast majority of Imperial troops are recruited from "barbarian" worlds (anyone TL8 or lower). They're easier to entice with high tech goodies and massively increased pay (i.e. recruit and train a thousand TL3 barbarians and equipment them with TL12 equipment, but pay them a TL6 salary). Kill all you want - we'll breed more! You don't need factories to get barbarians - you just need huts. Sure, you can make robots faster, but there are a lot more barbarian planets than robot warrior factories. And it's easier to smartNuke a factory than a planet...

On the topic of size - AIs are everywhere IMTU at TL10 and up. Most are very specialized and might more accurately be called "Simulated Intelligence." safetyNet is a good example. It's a common "AI" around starports. It watches for accidents (traffic, industrial, cargobot runs over someone, ship is leaking coolant, etc.) and calls them in to the local authorities (i.e. DownPort Management, or portNet). You can talk to it, and it can carry on a quite erudite conversation as long as you talk about DownPort things and safetyNet. Ask it about civilNet and it will continue talking.

It has just opened a channel to civilNet so it can relay information to you about local JTAS chapters or where to find a good restaurant or how to get to the Chirper Reserve. It happens so seamlessly and quickly that human minds never notice.

Kind of like how so many people use wireless phones, high speed internet, and internal combustion engines without a clue of how they operate. Once you're born into it, it becomes as much of the background as a tree or clouds.

Like robots. High tech societies (A and above) just accept them as a given.

Look at it this way - Sometime in the next 20 years at the latest, keyboards and hard drives as we recognize them today will have disappeared. Come back in 100 years and they'll be as out of date as chariots and spears. Come back in 1000 years and they might not be recognized as useful tools. They'd be as out of date at flint knives and mammoth hunting.

In terms of implants, everyone TL A and up uses them. Mostly they are non-invasive (i.e. contact lenses with HUD, tiny devices that adhere to the skin behind your ear and blend in). People can always be in touch with their local 'net, shipNet, fleetNet, etc. Its like the internet without a keyboard using highly advanced and improved wireless technology.

Weapon implants are usually highly specialized situations. At worst you're owned by the guys that installed them. At best you're ostracized by society at large.

So, here's an example. High Tech Cyber Warrior Dude lands on a TL 14 planet and takes a stroll through the DownPort. Everyone starts to call in reports of a heavily armed individual whether or not the weapons are allowed by law and whether or not the Cyber Warrior is behaving suspiciously or not. Local safetyNet nodes (the same light posts and hidden Eyes that call in traffic accidents) make the same calls. Cyber Warrior's onboard circuits begin to receive incoming messages and attempts at interrogation or outright disconnection by safetyNet AIs and concerned citizens. Word goes out on civilNet that a high tech "barbarian" is at the DownPort. Kids start trying to hack his systems just to see how closely his offworld systems resemble their own. Next thing you know, he's being returned to his ship "for his own protection". Shoot the place up? Cyber Warrior could do that, and do a good job. So could a guy with an ACR or PGMP. Eventually, however, whatever local equivalent of law enforcement exists is going to arrive in force and shut things down (usually a sniper or an EMP grenade or both). End result: it's never a good idea to run around scaring folks in public with obvious military hardware.

The other way to discourage it is not to offer military implants. Want one? Join the Army. What? You were mustered out? Then they kept their implant. Buy one on the Black Market? Sure. Now find a surgeon. How do you know the surgeon is trustworthy or even a surgeon? Now get it programmed and calibrated. Oh, you need an engineer and a bioengineer for that. Join the Army. What? You were kicked out? etc etc You could build an entire campaign about some guy trying to get military implants.

Why does this help?

I don't have time to educate Traveller newbies. Someone needs to be the Voice of the Referee and Provide Guidance. shipNet, civilNet and libraryNet do that quite effectively. It's nothing their characters couldn't find out by accessing the TAS databases - in fact, it's the same information. All you have to do is make the connection instead of walking across town. We do the same thing all the time now. Our descendants will do it even more often and more efficiently. When or if someone else joins the game, even if it's one of the Old Gang for a single session, it'll be the same for them. Which is a long winded way of saying, I don't have the time to explain everything to the players, so they can learn as they go as long as they're in civilized areas. When they're on some backwater world, they still have shipNet and the last library it downloaded before hitting the Jump Point.

And on biotech IMTU... I extend human modifications to biological enhancements. At a minimum, from TL A and up, people get sick less often and live far longer (nanotech, biotech, genetic engineering and bionanotech).

An Example:

Ms Noble is a Noble from a TL 15 world. As such, she's a child of privilege and has never known sickness or significant injury. She's never seen many old or disabled people. Because the world is TL 15, there are a wide variety of bodyMods that could have been chosen by her parents.

Str, Dex, End are generated by 1D6+6, Int by 1D6+8, Edu is F due to the natural of the high tech civilization. Soc (since the player wanted a noble) is base A.

A "Marduk" (warrior culture on the same world): Str, Dex, End are generated by 1D6+10. Everything else as above, except Soc is 2D6.

Does this result in powerful characters? I guess so, in the vague sense. You can have a Traveller SpaceHound with a profile of FFFFFF and he/she/it can still be taken out by a PGMP, a .50 caliber sniper, heck, a 9mm to the head, or a horde of savages with TL1 spears. It's just a way to demonstrating that high TL worlds and Nobles have it better than everyone else. Even if a bunch of "Ultras" with FFFFFF profiles take off a'piratin' on the Spinward Main, eventually someone with a meson spine mount is going to wreck their day after they've terrorized enough locals to really hack off the local Nobles and MegaCorps.

All of which is a very long-winded way of saying "Do what you think is best, and let the Imperium take care of the rest."

Religionnnn innnnnn Spaaaaace!

1. Solomani religions - some of the old ones are around and are still recognizable. Others are substantially altered (similar to the religions described in the Dune novels). Some new ones are localized and mostly ignored by everyone else. And there's the Solomani Hypothesis which some folks take as a sort of religion.

2. Zhodani - Treat religion as a "bad idea". Pray, and the Thought Police take you away and make you all better.

3. Vilani - More like the Solomani religions, but "odd". I always had this idea of a pantheistic religion with huge temples and gigantic statues that looked oddly like giant robots (i.e. the Ancient warmachines that ravaged ancient Vland). Lots of incense and hours of weird chants and really nasty sacred food that tastes like soured vegetable oil strained through a dirty sock and coated with armpit.

4. Droyne - No translatable concept. The coynes are a psionic focus that is used because, well, it's been used for 20,000 odd years. They're too practical, and mostly run on instinct or autopilot. As a species they don't spend any time on anything that's not directly related to their roles in their communities. They don't live long enough to wonder about things. If you have time to wonder about things, you're ready to commit ritual suicide and make room for the next bunch of hatchlings.

5. Aslan - Ancestor worship. Sort of. Doesn't translate well. More like long-running fan clubs. I like the idea of Aslan "worshipping" the possession of territory (males) or intellectual property (females).

6. Vargr - 20,000 worlds with 2,000,000 religions at least. Or ideologies that resemble religion. Sometimes. Until some guy with a Charisma of B comes up with something else to do in their free time. Too flighty for organized belief systems. The Church of the Chosen Ones is described in canon material, but doesn't seem to be terribly widespread.

7. Daryen - a sort of religion based on an odd little droyne-looking god with big eyes, like an ancestral memory of their time in the Orchards.

8. Hivers - no concept of religion. They've devoted thousands of years trying to figure out what it means, but have made no progress other than to build a huge library of the beliefs of others. The ultimate secular pragmatists.

9. K'Kree - CRUSH THE G'NAAK BENEATH YOUR HOOVES! SLAY THEM! DRIVE THEM INTO THE GREATER DARK, THAT THEY MAY PERISH OF STARVATION AND LONELINESS! But no religion. Its just the way they are. The imperative to kill G'naak via interstellar genocide is no more unusual to them than being curious is to a human. Its just an emotion that they experience in place of, say, happiness. Love is being with other K'Kree. Pride is biting another K'Kree until it abandons its retinue and flees away to the outer steppes.

Heck, there are thousands of worlds that have been developing in the TU for thousands of years. There could be any number of religions, some of which would resemble those we know in the real world, others that would be pretty much incomprehensible.

10. If you really want to have fun, let your players land on a planet of Gozer worshippers (i.e. Ghostbusters). You don't have to actually have ghosts or demonic canine accountants, or anything like that. But you could still have a lot of fun working up the society that developed around the concept of waiting for the Destructor and protecting hereditary lineages of Gatekeepers and Keymasters...

But that's sorta my take on it. With the right gaming group and a good story, religion could play a central and vital role in a Traveller game. On the other hand, if one's interest is running a Jump-2 tramp freighter along the Spinward Main, the closest thing you'll come to religion is the colorful language used by the engineer when the drive starts throwing off sparks halfway through the jump...

IMTU, religion as we would understand it, is a peculiarly human concept. The Vargr are a little more like Humaniti, so maybe they have concepts that are closer to "religion" in their cultures. The Aslan are a little further removed, so maybe they have beliefs/customs/behaviors/ideas that seem a ~little~ bit like religion, but not exactly. Droyne, Hiver and K'Kree are so far removed from Humaniti biologically and behaviorally that they may appear to engage in religious beliefs, but they really aren't. They're expressing their own alien ideas. Even more "alien" critters, like the various hot/cold worlders and the floating inhabitants of gas giants would probably have even less in common with Humaniti, and be pretty much incomprehensible.

That doesn't exactly lend itself to easy roleplay, especially for someone that wants to play an alien, but it makes sense to me.

Differences in religious beliefs between species...

A dog thinks, "Hey, these folks feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me ... They must be gods!"

A cat thinks, "Hey, these folks feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me ... I must be a god!"

Very different conclusions from the same data set.

And the latest news...

2007-08-18T10:56:00.001-05:00

And just to help reinforce the point, here's a new Character Archetype for the "All Flesh Must Be Eaten" RPG:

New Archetype, Dead Body
Survivor

Attributes All at 0
Secondary values All at 0

Qualities and Drawbacks None

Skills None

Gear Stolen, stripped and scavenged

Quote Character's name scratched on crude gravemarker

Personality None

Stuff and Things

2007-08-18T10:21:00.001-05:00

Travelling

(as always, all links used without permission)

Y'know, I'd really forgotten how much I liked the Traveller RPG. Not the T20 rules, nice though those folks are, or the Megatraveller system, cool though the setting is, or the New Era/Error or GURPS Traveller or Traveller 4. Just Classic Traveller. Coolest game system ever if you ignore the part about maybe getting killed during the character generation process - Yeah, your character could die before starting the game, which sorta defeats the purpose of making a character in the first place. But if you ignore that part, its way cool. Just get a spaceperson and start playing. Roll 2d6, add any modifiers, and beat an 8. Streamlined, efficient, and able to handle pretty much anything.

All the other versions have a lot of great ideas, ranging from the Hard Times of Megatraveller, to the oddball "I wish the Ancients would just leave me alone" stuff in T4. GURPS Traveller too. Their Behind the Claw sourcebook for the Spinward Marches is excellent, even though I don't play GURPS and know nothing about the rules.

So, if you want to have some fun with old school roleplaying (i.e. using dice, pencil and paper) and find the concept of battling an Ine Givar boarding party with a PGMP-14 while trying not to melt your own airlock, check it out: Space Opera gaming at its finest.

Chocolate Cheese Rage Wains...

Looks like the Cloverfield/1-18-08 mayhem is dying down. I'm guessing the movie is still gonna come out, but as far as what it's actually about... Who the heck knows.

Some theories from various persons:
1. Aliens
2. Mutants with zombie backup
3. Standard Giant Monster
4. Non-Standard Giant Monster
5. Voltron (debunked)
6. Cthulhu (debunked)

Some theories from me:
1. Dagon (Hey! He/It isn't Cthulhu, and if memory serves, Dagon had a lot more interaction with humans near the New England coastline than Cthulhu ever did in the South Pacific). On the same lines, why not a Shoggoth or some other Lovecraftian critter?
2. No monster. Just mass hysteria and a government conspiracy.
3. Remake of "The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms".
4. Some monster (choose one of the above, or insert your own) that is occasionally glimpsed but never really seen.

Still like the teaser trailer, but definitely not going to see this on opening night.

And on the gripping hand, there's still a new Godzilla movie in the works.

TGIF! And more on Slusho clues...

2007-08-17T15:32:00.000-05:00

Yeah, TGIF. Tropical Storm/Depression Erin just kicked the crap outta us down here in South Texas. Blah! Glad to have the week over. All we have to do now is get past Hurricane Dean...

So, here are a few more clues for all y'all Cloverfield fanatics out there on the 'Net.

Made Fresh For You = Head for some fury. Furious, perhaps? That's what the poster said.

You'll have to figure out your own anagrams from these:

"I'm glad if I don't see you."
Betty Barsuglia.
Evil abounds, Demon-Born. Eat two sandwiches.
Make trouble.

And keep these words in mind:
Anywhere.
Concrete.

Also, take the movie poster and examine it closely:

It's not a "snapshot." It shows a series of events, kinda like taking a picture in 4-D. It shows several things as they happen, in sequence, from left to right.

And then get a high res copy of the poster and tinker with wavelengths, RBG, negatives, etc. You might just find something written in the poster.

Also take note of the orientation of the Statue of Liberty. She's looking the wrong way, kinda like she's wondering what just ripped off her head and tossed into central Manhattan. There are clues there as well.

Enjoy!

Chocolate Rage?

2007-08-13T20:08:00.000-05:00

So, since I have nothing else to do and no real life outside of work, I was thinking about this Cloverfield/1-18-08 movie again today on the commute home from work.

And, should anyone actually be reading this, you may thank me now. I have decided to share certain facts that have fallen into my clutches. You may not like them, and you may not believe them, but that's all cool with me.

Being an old TexasZombie, I've met a lot of folks over the years. I make friends readily and try to stay in touch. This is called Networking. It's also called being friendly, but let's call in Networking. It sounds cooler and less provincial.

Okay - you all should know the rules by now - All links are used without permission.

So, back to Cloverfield.

The concensus from folks with whom I've spoken is that the Cloverfield movie will have the following attributes:

1. Little or no clear view of the monster, due to budgetary constraints and film style.

2. Focus almost entirely on a group of hip youngsters running from said monster. This will be a bit odd, even for a monster movie. See * below.

3. Did I mention the monster will get little to no screen time? This has come up repeatedly from folks with whom I've spoken.

Now, don't get me wrong - I thought the trailer was creepy and cool. This may well be a fine movie, and the folks involved in making it are in all probability really nice folks.

Just don't be expecting something along the lines of a Godzilla movie. This is going to be more like a 1950's monster movie. 75% of the movie is people talking and looking scared and running. 20% is shadows and roars and footprints. 5% is monster.

I'm definitely skipping opening weekend, however. This is looking more and more like a renter instead of a "crank my cranky butt out of doors and pay a bunch of money on opening day" movie.

*Manhattan is a big place, even if one is from Texas. And there are a LOT of people in Mahattan - something like 1.5 million. So, let's suspend disbelief and put a giant monster in Battery Park. Let's say for the sake of example that it has pulled the head off the Statue of Liberty, caused an earthquake and explosion, and thrown said statue head into midtown Manhattan.

Everybody's gonna $hit a brick and head outta town by car, train, on foot, and by boat. Heck, maybe some folks on Central Park West have their own rooftop helicopters. That's a lot of people on the move.

But that's my point. Most folks will head out of town and even a hugh giant critter will only be visible as a dust cloud or smoke. For anyone to see said monster for most of a movie is either poor script writing (unless they're part of a monster chasing team or something) or just plain bad luck. Either way, it's kinda lame.

You Can't Drink Just Hype

2007-08-12T08:17:00.000-05:00

G'morning, everyone!

WARNING! WARNING! ALL LINKS USED WITHOUT PERMISSION - Deal with it, link folks! I haven't had my coffee yet.

So, anyway, I'm like thinking about all this Cloverfield/Slusho before I went to sleep last night (the book I was reading was INCREDIBLY boring - sorry, Greg).

And then this thought starts coming together...

There may not be a monster in this virally-advertised way-too-cool too-hyped movie. Allow me to postulate. At the very least, this old zombie is a bit concerned.

1. Why this much hype this early on? Is Paramount worried? Why threaten websites that post too much information with legal action? Honestly, I think this is hype too. I mean, come on Paramount. Are you really so reduced in significance that this is meaningful legal action to you? Talk about over-inflated egos! You'd think the movie industry does something really important and critical, unlike folks that do unimportant things likes, oh, I dunno, making medicine, curing and healing folks, building machines, keeping the electricity and water running, etc. *

2. I've heard the film will be released initially in Japan. In Ichigatsu. Why? Are Paramount and Bad Robot worried the movie won't do as well in the US in the following summer?

3. Hyper-hype about secrecy and scripts and call sheets and stuff. Is there a problem with the script? Rewrites due to budgetary constraints? Problems with a good ending for the story?

4. I'm beginning to wonder if there's gonna even be a monster in this Giant Monster Movie. There are several reasons:

The producer uses pretty much the same team for everything, and they don't seem to write conventional scripts. They get off on messing with folks' heads and considering themselves to be some sort of intellectual elite. I know the type. I seem them everyday.
An artsy-pretentions of intellectual superiority-Blair Witchy monster movie might be considered cool if said monster were not shown. Implied instead. Focus on the faces of the oh-so-sincere actors.
No budget. $30 million used to be a fortune. Not anymore.
Politics. Got this sneaking suspicion that the movie makers are going to be more interested in making the movie look like 9/11 to invoke visceral fear in the audience, then toss in some ham handed and ignorant polite commentary.

5. So I'm beginning to wonder if we're gonna see a monster, or just glimpse it, or just have an implied monster. Heck, wouldn't surprise me at this point if the monster turns out to be a conspiracy or delusion.

*So I think I've about convinced myself to NOT go see the movie. I'm thinking the signs indicate "No so good" and "Over hyped" and "The guys making the film are jerks."**

Exhibit A: The San Diego Comic Con incident. The producer made a big scene about announcing the title of the movie, then basically said, "No, I've decided not to tell you." All with what looked to me to be an expression of smug self-satisfaction.

So there's the early morning egomaniacal scoop on Cloverfield this bright Sunday mornin'.

BLAH! I NEED COFFEE! BLAH! BLAH, HUMBUG!

IÄ! IÄ! TEXASZOMBIE FTAGHN!

2007-08-11T09:16:00.000-05:00

Okay, so a little more about this Cloverfield movie trailer...

WARNING! ALL LINKS USED WITHOUT PERMISSION

When the head of the Statue of Liberty comes bouncing down the road (which is a very cool shot), something didn't set right. I think I know what it is:

The head, from chin to cranium is just shy of 20 feet. Maybe it's an optical illusion, but the head in the trailer didn't look that big. More like the size of an SUV.

Then again, a Murano is about 16 feet long, so this may be an optical illusion. Like the fireballs hitting the buildings, it may be that the CGI effects are not finished yet, and that the whole thing was test footage.

So, about the monster and Slusho...

It's still not Cthulhu. Of this I am certain for a lot of reasons that other folks have already discussed.

I was thinking "Beast from 20,000 Fathoms" or a reimagining of same. Then it occurred to me:

"Oh, crap! Maybe there's no monster at all!" Meaning, there may be a monster in the monster movie (I'd certainly hope so), but it may not be seen often, in toto, or at all. The worst case scenario, this isn't even a monster movie. Instead it's some kind of polical mind f*ck in which the "monster" is a frabriction of a government trying to hold on to power through fear, like the 9/11 conspiracy stuff/crap.

I certainly hope that's not the case. Heck, I LOVE giant monster movies. I don't want some political commentary. I wanna see a big ol' critter tear stuff up.

But back to the conspirings and wonderings and things and stuff...

There's this consistent idea/interpretation that seems to have taken hold. Slusho is people. The critter is called the Parasite. No, it's an alien. No, it's Chocolate Cheese Rage. I like the idea of some kind of toxic organism that results from, or is in some way revenge for, human activities. So a mutant squid-bacteria-sea turtle would be cool.

Anagrams

"You can't drink just six." = "A toxic industry's junk."

Yeah, everyone knows this one. But did you know you can make more Anagrams from phrases associated with this film? And these anagrams will REVEAL THE MOVIE TO US!!!

Chocolate Rage = The Cloaca Ogre. Hmmmm...lots of critters have a cloaca, and ogres are monsters... Or even Cloaca Get Hero. That's disturbing. About as disturbing as the hero getting a cloaca...

Cloverfield = Cod Liver Elf. Well, cod liver comes from cods, which come from the sea, which is where the Statue of Liberty is standing on an island, and an elf is a mischevious being that might find tossing said statue's head into Manhattan to be pretty funny. Or, and this may be the real ultimate truth: "Relic of Veld." The Veld is the Veldt and a relic of veld would have to come from the veldt, so maybe the monster is a giant gnu.

Metagenomics = Mincemeats Go. Slusho is people, and people are mincemeats that are eaten and must go. Obvious, right?

Littlest Whale = Wealth's little. Right! Money won't save you from the monster! This producer dude must be an incredible genius!

(censored name of supposed character in movie) = "Ask a Maria." Prayer is our only salvation from the monster.

(censored name of supposed other character in movie) = "A Calm Gray." Well, like, y'know, ummm...the sea is kinda gray on a foggy day, and the sea can be calm, so like, y'know, this means, like, the monter comes outta the sea.

So, yeah, like, there ya have it.
The monster comes out of the sea. It is acts like an ogre and an elf and has a cloaca, which might or might not get our hero. It probably looks like a fishy prehistoric giant gnu, and hops right out of a calm gray sea to hack up Lady Liberty. Wealth will not save anyone. They must pray.

So, yeah, like there ya have it. This is where the clues lead us.

Makes as much sense as anything else, thinks I.

NEW AND IMPROVED SLUSHO

2007-08-10T18:45:00.000-05:00

"Ph'nglui mglw'nafh TexasZombie Texas wgah'nagl fhtagn."

So, like, I finally get around to getting back online and whatnot, and I'm noticing all this collyshangy about "1-18-08" and "Cloverfield" and "Slusho."

Is someone making a Giant Monster Movie? Cool.

Heheheh.

Viral marketing? Okay. Better be worth it, Paramount and Bad Robot. If it isn't, I'll never watch Lost again. Oh, wait. I've never watched Lost before. So, yeah, that's not gonna work...

So, anyway, I'm wondering about all this stuff (better that than wondering about work) and I start tinkering around. AND I FIND SECRET STUFF!!!

BEHOLD!

(All links used without permission)

"You can't drink just six" = "A toxic industry's junk".
Cthulhu = "Cult, huh?"
Slusho = "Uh, loss?"

So then I mix this with the trailer that everyone's seen a bazillion times over.
I liked the "monster" sound - roar? moan? Whatever, it's cool.

So then I tried an experiment: I played the trailer for some cats and they didn't respond.

I played a recording of a moaning polar bear for them and they listened intented.

I played the infamous "BLOOP!" sonar recording and they listened intently.

1-18-08 trailer again, and they start licking their butts.

A recording of a bottlenose dolphin and they listened intently.

So, here's my additon to the Cloverfield Mythology - the monstrous roar is synthetic, with no natural animal sounds. I could go on and on about this, but the cats don't lie.

I'm Not Criswell, But I Play a Psychic on My Blog

"The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms" is based on a Ray Bradbury short story called "The Lighthouse." The final battle with the Rhedosaur from the movie takes place at an amusement park. Cloverfield references Coney Island.

I'm pretty sure they don't mean Island of the Monster Rabbits.

So, my Prediction - 1-18-08 we get a remake/reimagining of "The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms."

No Cthulhu. Cthulhu doesn't smash buildings. Cthulhu makes you go nuts and off your buddies and get into weird cults and stuff.

That is not dead which can eternal lie,
And with strange aeons even death may die.

See? Nothing about eating New York or chasing hip young people around town.

Yeah, well, so...

2006-04-01T17:57:00.000-06:00

*taps microphone*

Hello? Hello? Is anyone actually reading this thing?

No?

Cool. Then no one noticed I keep forgetting to do any updating.

TZ

Slow Sunday

2005-07-31T14:46:00.000-05:00

This ain't the Garden of Eden
There ain't no angels above
And things aren't what they used to be
And this ain't the summer of love.

"This Ain't the Summer of Love", Blue Oyster Cult

I had this idea to write up something really clever today, but I just can't find the inspiration. Maybe later.

TZ

More random tests

2005-07-23T00:29:00.000-05:00

Try the Genghis Khan Genetic Fitness Test
307,570 descendants
As long as I get to wear a spikey hat and wave a sword around, it's all good.

Or The Improved Zombie Survival Test
Zombie Destroyer

Or maybe the Politics Test
According to this test, I am a...
Nah. That's too easy. You figure it out.

Or the How Evil Are You? Test
Heheheh. Dr. Evil. 60% evilness.
Just 60%? I need to get busy.

Or the Cowboy-Ninja-Pirate-Knight Test
An Enigma??? Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, over?
I seem to have distinct knightly and piratical tendencies, but I guess it all evens out.

Which Historic General Are You?
Genghis Khan!!!
Woohoo!!! Gimme that spikey hat and sword!!!

Support Hunting With Zombies!
From the makers of the www.urbandead.com online zombie survival game.
"...They say: Hunting with zombies is cruel.
Rubbish. "Hunting by zombie pack is the most natural and humane way of controlling what remains of the human race." - statement supported by surviving members of the Royal College of Science..."

And more fun with Zombies tests:
I haven't taken any of these, so I can't vouch for what's in 'em. Use at your own risk.

True Zombie Survival Test
Global Zombie Attack Survival Test
Zombie Awareness Test
What Kind of Zombie Are You?
The Zombie Survival Guide Test
The Real Zombie Attack Survival Test
The My Zombie Survival Test
The Enlightened Zombie Survival Test

Ah, hell, here's the list of tests.

Enjoy!
TZ

War of the Worlds 2

2005-07-21T21:34:00.000-05:00

I think I figured out what's been bugging me about War of the Worlds.

Warning - more spoilers. Standard disclaimer applies.

Forcefields and projectile weapons. Air to surface missiles, 120mm smoothbore rounds, machine guns, hand grenades...nothing worked. From the outside, anyway.

So, when those lil' three-legged buggers invade, I'm going to go with FASCAM. Family of Scatterable Mines. From the link above:

"...They are designed to be delivered or dispensed remotely by aircraft, artillery, or by ground dispenser..."

Well, Martian war machines gotta walk on the ground, see, so I'm thinkin' that since their feet touched the ground, their feet could touch a scatterable anti-tank mine like the M76. Heheheh. Hope they brought Giant Martian War Crutches.

Why FASCAMs? 'Cause you can shoot and scoot. Sure, the Martians will probably blow up the mine dispenser (that'd be me, in this case), but maybe I could get a couple in the meanwhile.

Wonder if, in some other part of the War of the Worlds, somebody strapped a bunch of dynamite to a mannequin and tossed it out for the Martian War Machines to grab?

On the other hand, I was able to rationalize a way for the Martians (or whoever they were in the movie) to do what they did. Why would they bury their war machines "a million years ago" then wait until Tom Cruise is looking for his Mustang before attacking?

Easy: Wipe out potential competition.

It's an easy concept...You pre-position equipment and wait until you pick up radio signals indicating that the seeded planet has evolved intelligent technological life. Then you hustle over before they start buildling star ships and stomp the crap out of them. You don't have to share that way. "The Killing Star" by Charles Pellegrino (GREAT novel, by the way), touches on this subject.

Robots have three laws. Aliens can have three laws too:

1. Wimps don't make it to the top.
2. Their survival is more important to them than ours is.
3. They'll assume the first two rules appy to us too.

So there you have it: a recipe for interstellar extermination. It might also explain Fermi's Paradox: we haven't seen aliens yet because everyone wipes everyone else out as soon as they have the potential to drop by for a visit. Yup! You don't necessarily get to nuke yourself. Someone else stops in and does it for you.

It might explain sequential novas in the constellation Aquila: housekeeping. Eight novas in the last 100 years alone.

So, the Martians/aliens are here to wipe out humanity before we can develop space ships and come over to wipe them out. Makes as much sense as anything else.

Either that or weird alien religion:
Thou shalt not suffer an alien with four limbs to live!

Ya never know...

Repent, quadruped! The end is nigh!

TZ

War of the Worlds? 2005?

2005-07-20T20:44:00.000-05:00

Seen this? The new one with Tom Cruise, Dakota Fanning, Steven Spielberg?

WARNING! SPOILERS INCLUDED! DON'T BLAME ME IF I RUIN THE MOVIE FOR YOU! TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ACTIONS AND RUIN IT FOR YOURSELF!

Pretty cool - lots of interesting effects, completely bizarre aliens, and nifty apocalyptic scenes. This one was way cool. Parts of it were downright creepy. This scene in particular I found highly disturbing for some reason (maybe I drowned at sea in a former life or something). The alien lawn spreader was pretty gruesome, but I can live with that (but see below*). Summary here. I haven't read the summary yet, so don't quote me on it - your mileage may vary.

Okay, most of it was creepy. Parts of it were downright scary. A lot of disturbing images, which is funny since I laughed through most of "Natural Born Killers". Some of the scenes invoked dark memories of 9/11/01 and other recent events in the world. "Is it the terrorists?!" the daughter shrieks early on.** The burning train was pretty bad. Blah. Creepy.

Tim Robbins' character was cool. He's being described by most reviewers as a "crazed survivalist". Crazed? Yeah, he had a few screws loose. Survivalist? Dunno. He wasn't prepared enough - you dig BEFORE the aliens invade, and you don't get stuck at home if you have a couple days warning. Crazed survivalist? Nah. I know a few. He ain't it. But his character is cool.***

By the way, here's a cool site on avoiding looking like a crazed survivalist if looking like one is not your thing. There's a lot of good info on this site is you're more interested in surviving and less interested in open battle with commie hordes.

Couple of questions about War of the Worlds keep bugging me, though.

When the aliens buried their war machines "a million years ago", why didn't they just conquer the earth then? Weren't cavemen fun enough to chase through the woods? Maybe they were just waiting for Reality TV to evolve and wanted to exterminate that?

I guess the aliens hadn't heard of germ theory either (but, hey, maybe they hadn't - they're aliens, after all, and it is the f***ing point of the story, so I'm willing to cut 'em some slack). Guess it was just odd to see the lil' three-legged buggers running around nekkid without a care in the world. I'd've wanted alien bug spray, personally.

*Wouldn't an alien wood chipper have been more efficient than a giant syringe? Waste not, want not! (yeah, that's alien red stuff, a LOT of blood, and part of a cow in the yard). After all, you've come a long way and don't want to run out of fertilzer before you grow enough of whateverthehell that red stuff was.

**The first few hysterical shrieks were okay, but it got old REAL fast. Kids got no respect for the end of the world these days.

***Too bad Cruise's (Ray Ferrier) character killed Robbins' character (Harlan Ogilvy) instead of the f***ing bratty spoiled kids. Heck, if I'd acted like that during an alien invasion when I was a kid, PoppaZombie and MommaZombie would've beat the $hit outta this lil' zombie, then left me for the alien lawn spreader machine.

/Start Rant/ By the way - that last link is just a joke. I don't subscribe to newfangled ideas about reasoning with kids and dealing with their need to express themselves and achieve self-actualization through being allowed to do basically anything they want. It's a waste of time and not good for anyone, especially the kids. Reason with a three year old? A fourteen year old? PLEASE!!! (Note - that last link is a joke too) But that's another topic. But seriously, folks, don't fall for the crap. Too many two-legged animals running around out there being mistaken for human until they hurt someone else. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR SPAWN! My barbarian horde will thank you for it after the collapse of civilization. Your neighbors will thank you for it now.
Don't make me get medieval on your brats, or you. But I digress... /END RANT/

And that airplane (looked like a 747 to me) crash on the former in-law's house? VERY empty plane. Where'd everybody go? And why did that one guy's video camera work when cars and even watches went dead from EMP? Yeah, I could deal with the car with new solenoids being workable, but it was just too odd. And what was up with that force field? They could drag people into their baskets through it but you couldn't penetrate it with a rocket launcher? And was that orange snot venting from the war machines as the aliens got sick and died?

But don't think I'm being completely negative.
The alien war machines were pretty cool. The spotlights and blaring foghorn/trumpets were interesting. The machines themselves seemed to be partially organic or biotic (giant cyborgs, maybe?). The foghorn sound in particular was used to good effect, as it usually presaged a completely inconvenient arrival of the aliens.

And I learned that in order to be a good daddy I shouldn't leave car engines in the kitchen. 'Course, I think the kids were a total loss prior to the start of the movie, but what do I know?

Too bad this movie never said the where the aliens came from. They ~implied~ Mars (the red planet scene in the prologue), but I guess it doesn't matter when the aliens are disintegrating your neighbors and throwing semis at you. I can't say I'd stop to ask.

But if they'd've thrown some NASA probes at the helpless puny humans, that would have been pretty funny. "Drop this on us, huh?"

TZ

I'm Godzilla...

2005-07-15T21:43:00.000-05:00

Found this nifty online quiz.

I'm the Big G.

Godzilla 92%
Rodan 83%
King Ghidorah 72%

Cool.

Blahhhg

2005-07-15T21:06:00.000-05:00

It's a Holiday in Cambodia, y'all. Zombies, so it would seem.

But don't worry - if zombies get here, their impact on the nation's infrastructure is already being studied.

And this might help too... WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW.
The cool part is that there is some actual useful information here.

Personally, I'd ditch the zombie book in favor of a US Army Survival Manual: FM 21-76 .

Make sure you've got an evac plan ready.

TZ

Favorite Zombie DVDs and Books

2005-07-13T22:19:00.000-05:00

Some favorites in no particular order

DVDs
Night of the Living Dead - 1990 remake - I thought it was better than the original, but not everyone agrees; it is probably my favorite zombie movie, regardless.

Night of the Living Dead - 1968. George Romero's website is here. Kyra Schon's website is here. Ms. Schon played "Karen Cooper" in the 1968 movie.

Dawn of the Dead - 1978 - find the Director's Cut if you can; it's in the 4-disc Ultimate Collection. A tribute site is here. The Monroeville Mall's website is here. They even have maps - if you're in to roleplaying games or wargames, you might find them handy. A classic, even with the pie fight included.

Day of the Dead - The original script is quite a bit different from the final version - more like "Land of the Dead". You can find a link to the original script in the "Films" section of the Homepage of the Dead. The underground "bunker" is the Meritex Commerce Center in Wampum, PA. No maps, though.

Land of the Dead - The official website is here. There's even a "supply run" game.

Dawn of the Dead - 2004 - more of a reimagining than a remake. The official website is here. They have a "dark parking garage full of zombies" game.

Shaun of the Dead - Billed as "A Romantic Comedy...With Zombies!" Just a lot of fun. The official site is here. Trivia bit: Simon Pegg ("Shaun") and Edgard Wright (of "Shaun of the Dead") had zombie cameo bits in "Land of the Dead".

Wild Zero - Japanese punk rock superheroes vs. yakuza, aliens, and zombies! What more could you want? "Rock 'n' Roll is NOT over, baby. Rock 'n' Roll never dies!" The official website is here : "Brutality of Screen!!! TRASH AND CHAOSSSS!!!! The Great Psycho of Them All! Thrill, Speed, and Stupid Zombies. Pretty good review here. The band, Guitar Wolf, has a website too. A fan site states that Bass Wolf passed away on 30 March 2005. More details here.

28 Days Later - Yeah, so they're not really dead, and there are plot holes big enough to throw a flaming bus full of Infected through. It's still a good movie. Rumors of a sequel called "28 Weeks Later" are making the rounds.

Meat Market - low budget indie, but good use of stock footage combined with end-of-the-world scenes and sets). The sequel is just as gruesome, and way more bizarre. These are somewhere between Dawn of the Dead (2004) and Wild Zero. Gratuitous Lucha Libre, bisexual female vampire wrestlers, weird quotes from Francis Ford Coppola's Dracula, etc. Odd stuff. Your mileage may vary.

Chopper Chicks in Zombietown - Goofy, but fun. Martha Quinn, VJ from the early years of MTV, has a part. Billy Bob Thornton is there too. This one is somewhere between SHE DEVILS ON WHEELS and CHUD II: Bud the CHUD.

Bubba Ho-Tep - Elvis and JFK (played by Ossie Davis) vs. Eqyptian undead in an East Texas nursing home. It's got everything! Based on a short story by author Joe Lansdale, featuring Bruce Campbell as Elvis (or Sabastian Haff if you prefer). Best line: "You treat me like a baby again, I'll wrap this godd@mn walker right around yer head!"

Last Man on Earth - Based on "I Am Legend", the short story that inspired "Night of the Living Dead". Vincent Price versus the walking dead (why was I not surprised?). Dated, but good. Moody. Price did a good job with the creeping insanity part (again, why am I not surprised*?).

The Omega Man - Heck, why not? It's vaguely related to "I Am Legend" and "The Last Man on Earth". Updated version of The Last Man on Earth, but now dated. And odd. Uber-macho lone survivor versus mutated neo-luddite victims of biological warfare. There's a lot more "not sick" survivors in this version too.

*But that's not a slam on the late Mr. Price. I met him once, many years ago. He was, to all appearances, a very polite and friendly fellow, and tolerated several dozen college-aged horror movie fans with admirable aplomb.

Print
Night of the Living Dead, John Russo - The novelization of the movie that started it all. Out of print now, but worth the effort if you can get a copy. The characters in the movies get a lot more detail and development - you finally learn where Ben was heading and why Johnny was ~really~ giving Barbara such a hard time.

The Zombie Survival Guide : Complete Protection from the Living Dead, Max Brooks - Well, you never know...It might come in handy some day, and the survival information is accurate for the most part.

The Dead, Mark E. Rogers - The seas and the graves gave up their dead, and man were THEY pi$$ed!

The Rising, Brian Keene - Yeah, okay, the rogue military sexploitation stuff is annoying, but there's a shortage of decent zombie novels out there. It's got some nifty scenes in it, and a slightly different take on the zombie genre.

City Of The Dead, Brian Keene - sequel to The Rising. Don't expect a happy ending. Or do. Depends on what you want in an ending. It reminds me a lot of "The Dead" (Mark Rogers).

BOOK OF THE DEAD - Short stories inspired by Romero's films. "Jerry's Kids Meet Wormboy", "On the Far Side of the Cadillac Desert, With Dead Folks" and "Like Pavlov's Dogs" are too cool.

BOOK OF THE DEAD 2 : STILL DEAD - And its sequel.

Wet Work, Philip Nutman - Expands on a short story in "Book of the Dead". There's a new and improved version in the works, but I don't have any details on it.

All Flesh Must Be Eaten: Revised Edition RPG, Eden Studios - THE zombie survival horror RPG! If any of you remember the old days of dice and paper RPGs, this is the one. Any sort of zombie scenario can be developed with these rules. Can't recommend them highly enough.

I Am Legend, Richard Matheson - The short story that inspired "Last Man on Earth", "Night of the Living Dead", and "The Omega Man".

Field Guide to the Apocalypse : Movie Survival Skills for the End of the World, Meghann Marco - Loads of fun! AND there's a zombie section. AND the science and survival info is solid. This book has it all!

Dawn of the Dead, George Romero, Susanna Sparrow - Out of print, but worth the search if you're a completist.

TZ

I'm me. What the hell are you?

2005-07-09T08:29:00.000-05:00

Surviving the End of the World as We Know It...via Hyperlink Hell.

Emergency supply checklists: Don't be a dumb@ss and pay for lists in somebody's lame-@ss book.

Check here. And here. And here.

Keywords:
Bail-out Bag or Bug Out Bag (BOB)
Bail-in Bag orBug In Bag (BIB)
Three-day existance pack

If you want good survival tips, grab a copy of the SAS Survival Handbook.

Check this out. I'm a Loner. Secondary Goth. Then a Geek. I would've thought I'd be a Loner, then a Geek. Yeah, Goth is cool, but it ain't THAT cool. Maybe it's all the black clothes or something.

But, heck, who cares??? I'm an official Zombie Attack survivor - 84%!
Official Survivor
Congratulations! You scored 84%! Whether through ferocity or quickness, you made it out. You made the right choice most of the time, but you probably screwed up somewhere. Nobody's perfect, at least you're alive.

You scored higher than 91% on survivalpoints

Don't know where I lost 16% - probably age or something like that. Oh well, at least I'm a heavily armed febrile elderly 30-something. I guess maybe I should upgrade to a bigger armored vehicle.

And if you are not a waste of biomass, you'll already play "All Flesh Must Be Eaten" Zombie Survival Horror RPG by Eden Studios, Inc.

Here's the Archetype test.
I'm a Biker, then a Detective, then Police Officer. Go figure. I don't do motorcycles, but maybe I could drive the Swag Waggon and carry oil filters for the rest of the nice folks in the pack.

If you can't find a printed copy, you can download one here. www.DriveThruRPG.com is a great site for finding RPGs.

RPGNow.com is the other good game download site - they have Savage Worlds and Over the Edge RPGs. Over on RPGNow.com, check out Zombie Run as a great Zombie Survival Horror scenario/mini-campaign. Cross-country zombie mayhem!

And this b@stard just ditched part of this post again. Okay. One more time.

So, if you're wondering what kind of non-Zombie Apocalypse Survivor you might be, check here.
I'm rated as a Dictator, then an Isolationist, then a Loner (then a Raider, then a Thug). Go figure. But don't worry - my tyranny will be cool, and my kung fu will be strong.

That's actually a bit disturbing - I didn't think I was ~that~ bad. But still, better to be the oppressor than the oppressed, thinks I.

And then there's THIS Nuclear War Survivor Type test.

"Consider that a divorce! You're

Arnold Schwarzenegger!

Maker of mediocre action pics and son of an actual Nazi, you're perhaps an insane joke on God's part. Why should you survive while others perish? Is it your hair, your brains or that manly gap in your teeth? Is it because you're going to lead California to a new tomorrow? Is it because you've paid someone enough money so that radiation doesn't harm you? Are you a real cyborg?

Arnold is the new Jesus. Stat."

Hmmm...New Jesus, huh? That could be interesting. My tyranny will be cool, my kung fu will be strong, and my religion will usher in an age of darkness and horror unseen since Cthulhu did his thing on the dinosaurs.

But don't worry folks - according to this test, I'll only live unti June 2052 or thereabouts. Huzzah! 47 more years of stuff and things and stuff.

That ought to be time to rack up some seriously bad karma.

So, what's the point of all this?

F*cked if I know, bubba. Just seemed like the thing to do on a dark and stormy night with no rain.

RPG Systems

2005-07-05T17:22:00.000-05:00

Seems like the biggest "question" these days is rules-heavy or rules-lite? Rules-lite, here.
"Over the Edge" and "octaNe" are great examples of rules-lite RPGs that require cooperative story telling on the part of all involved.

"Zombi: The Earth Won't Hold the Dead" is an somewhat obscure RPG from Ireland that is now out of print (they turn up on eBay every now and again, however). This little gem is rules-lite, but has a fairly extensive barter section wherein prices are listed in terms of "cans of food". Or "tins", actually. It was written in Ireland, after all.

"Tri-Stat" isn't bad either, nor is "Unisystem" (both Classic and Cinematic versions).

What we're playing here these days:

"All Flesh Must Be Eaten" (Eden Studios' Zombie Survival Horror RPG - Unisystem Classic)

"Classic Traveller: the Spinward Marches" (GDW)

"Empire of the Petal Throne" (homebrew, "Over the Edge" conversion and Tri-Stat "Tekumel" rulebook depending on what we're feeling like.

Oh, if you don't know what an RPG is, I really can't help you. It has nothing to do with a rocket-propelled grenade in this case, and you're probably thinking I'm a freak by now. Which I probably am, but that's another topic.

TZ

Why "No Great Mischief"?

2005-07-05T16:57:00.000-05:00

"They are hardy, intrepid, accustomed to a rough country, and no great mischief if they fall."
General James Wolfe, 1759, on recruiting Highland Scots for the British army in the Seven Years' War

'Tis no great mischief...

2005-07-05T00:57:00.000-05:00

Well, maybe it is.

At this point in the space/time continuum, I hereby bring this blog into being.

Hmmm... I thought there might be a flash of light or a fanfare or something. I guess not.
No problems. I've got a flashlight around here somewhere.

Discussions to follow. There's no goal or point - much like life. But maybe the answer to T.S. Eliot's question, "After such knowledge, what forgiveness?" will pop up.

Nah. But that's a cool question. I've been itching to use it for a while now.

I guess I could toss this out - it was an odd idea that occurred this morning:

"A specific event at a specific point in space/time only occurs once in the history of a 20 billion year old universe that may last another 1000 billion years. Each event is unique, so enjoy the moment - there will not be another identical to this one."

That's all well and good when you're having fun. It's carrion comfort when a zombie is trying to eat your brain.

TZ